San Diego’s booming downtown nightlife is centered in the Gaslamp Quarter.  Whether you want the warm salty safety of TGI Fridays, the eat-it-with-a-fork dark beers of The Field or to be harassed by homophobic crazy homeless drifters, you can find all of it downtown. This is the setting of tonight’s challenge restaurant, Saltbox.  Located in the Palomar Hotel, the interior is posh, modern and hard to find (For me anyway, you may be better with directions.  You likely are.)  It also features an incredibly unique unisex bathroom with individual stalls built into the walls.  Ready to face this challenge were a few salty friends I brought with me:

Amy B-Vegetarian Belle, Author, Event Planner

David-Technical writer, singer, robot super villain

Harry-Wise guy, master of the grill, loves camping for some reason

Molly-Recent San Diego transplant, jewelry maker, The new girl

When were we ever going to get another chance to do group photo in the bathroom? Never. This isn’t Ally McBeal.

For cocktails, Harry ordered the “Diamond in the Ruff” (Bombay saphire, dry vermouth, luxardo, st George absinthe & orange bitters).  He said it was really good. David and Amy both had the “Ginger Rogers” (Dickle rye, lime juice, ginger syrup, cinnamon syrup & rhubarb bitters).  Both gave high marks to the very good cocktails of this place.  Amy followed that up with an “Old Thymer” (Wild turkey, housemade thyme syrup & angostura) which was another hit.  Molly got the “L’il Miss” (Smirnoff, elderflower, lemon &  rose water).  She followed suit and said the drink was really good.  This place’s bar is obviously a highlight.

Ginger Rogers: Does everything a Fred Astaire can but backwards and in heels.

Right about here is where the problems started.

Right next to our table (no exaggeration, I had to hold my phone up because he could probably read my phone screen) a man showed up with a guitar, a harmonica and began an uninterrupted 90 minute set of 70’s classic rock covers at full volume. All hope my friends and I had of speaking to each other over our dinners were dashed as anything we attempted to shout at one another only looked like we were lip synching for our lives to the tunes of Elton John, Kansas & Neil Young.  Now, don’t get me wrong: this guy was very talented.  He played well and was a proficient enough vocalist, despite bringing “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” down a few octaves (The rumors are true, we high tenors are the judgiest bitches in the world).  But the bigger problem I have here was not with this guy who was simply doing what he was paid to show up and do.  It’s with Saltbox and other trendy places like it that don’t seem to understand that you can’t have it both ways.  You can’t do upscale dining *and* dive bar cool.  You just can’t.  You gotta choose.  This place passed itself off as a restaurant and bar but a much more accurate description would be “hotel bar with food available”.  And said food was why we were all here.

Right about here is where the problems continued…

For dinner Molly ordered the Half Kale Caesar Salad & The Burger on brioche with bacon, cheddar, lto, grain mustard aioli & pickles with a side of fries.  She said the salad was flavorless and barely had any dressing.  The fries were tasty but when Molly asked for the “House made ranch”, she was informed that they didn’t have it.  Her burger was equally disappointing.  Though cooked correctly, it was really bland.  She concluded that she could get a better burger at In-n-Out at a quarter of the price.  Amy got the Butternut Squash Ravioli with Buerre noisette, sage, pomegranate & chanterelle.  She found the raviloi to be really sweet and unbalanced.    As a table we shared side items of Cauliflower Gratin & Broccolini.   The cauliflower was found both by Amy and Harry to be nothing more than mushy and inside a low grade cheese sauce.  By definition; not a gratin.

Harry had the Skirt Steak with Achiote marinade, herbed rice, chimichurri & plantain chips.  Harry found the steak to be overcooked and the rice to be severely under-cooked.  He was thoroughly unhappy with it and planned to mention it to our server (who we were all pretty sure was a bartender assigned to our table) but after bringing our food, our server disappeared for nearly 45 minutes (or 12 acoustic rock covers).  not good.   David ordered Roasted Pumpkin Soup (with Pepitas, pea tendrils & chives) and the 1/2 Roasted Chicken with root vegetables, bordelaise, parsley and celery leaf salad.  In a change of pace, he really enjoyed the soup.  He said it was great.  The chicken however was dry and flavorless.

One of the few hits of the evening’s food: David’s Pumpkin Soup.

I got the Yukon Potato Flatbread with chicken added and a side of Fries.  Though  I was charged for it, the chicken never made its way onto my flatbread but I was so hungry by the time they brought it, I didn’t care.  It was more food than I thought it was going to be but it was good enough.  Nothing astounding but competently made.  The fries were fries and I got more than I thought I would.  Still on the expensive side (even after they took the missing chicken off my bill).

Upscale bar food. Tasty but not worth the wait.

There were some dessert items on the menu but after a very long wait, numerous service snafus and having to spend an entire night texting each other at the table to save our voices, we weren’t interested in trying any of them.

So, you’re probably thinking that we hated this place and would never come back.  Not true.  The drinks were successful across the board so if you are a business professional in San Diego needing to take the big wigs out for a cocktail on the company’s dime, take them here.  I think Saltbox is really doing themselves a disservice in the way they are marketing themselves.  This is a hotel bar with some food available.  Passing it off as a restaurant first gives the wrong impression and sets up diners for a disappointing dinner experience, which is what we had.  Come back for cocktails.  After you’ve eaten somewhere else.

Further reading

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