Tag Archives: travel

Special Report: The Boy Who Ate Nashville

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Suffering from a bit of the tl;dr ?  Scroll to the end for my Nashville cheat sheet!

A few years ago, I did something I’ve never done before.  Traveled alone.  I don’t get to do much by myself and while I’ve flown alone numerous times, I’d never taken an actual trip anywhere solo.  That changed when my two oldest Nieces were graduating from high school in Northern Alabama.  My family decided to fly out and celebrate together.   My Dad wanted to meet in Nashville and drive down.  I decided on a whim to fly out a few days early and make a solo trip to explore the city before my family joined me.  I had a few friends who live there and I’d never been before, so it was all new.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.

I vowed after that to take more solo trips.  It was AWESOME.  For someone who doesn’t enjoy Country music, I had myself a TIME in Nashville.  Over those first few days I had adventures with friends, got lost a few times when my GPS failed, saw an incredible museum, banged up my rental car (note: Always get the full coverage.  Seriously.) but the thing I did the most was eat.  I tried to hit up as many places as I could before my family got in.  I love my Dad but his idea of dining out in a new city is visiting the local Chili’s (No disrespect to Chili’s but ever since they changed the recipe of their chicken crispers, things have changed between us.  It’s still pretty painful for me.  I don’t wanna talk about it).   I spent weeks putting together lists of restaurants and record stores I wanted to visit.  Some meals were so sublime, I vowed that were I ever to return to Nashville, I would hit them up immediately.  

Last Christmas, I found myself back in Music City.   It was GO time.  

I committed myself to covering 12 restaurants in 4 days and I did it, thanks in no small part to my travelling companion, Aimee.  She was also a great help in putting together a list of places of interest.  In fact, two of the best places were her suggestions.  I was also joined by a few friends at some locations who did an admirable job of helping me explore menus.  NGL, by day 3 I was rockin’ a pretty epic case of heartburn but with grit, determination and a fistful of Prilosec, I soldiered on.  For you, I do this.  I also spent a week doing a complete reset/cleanse because I can’t be cursed with the daily meat sweats for the rest of my days.  Here’s the low down on the places we hit:

Puckett’s (500 Church Street, Nashville 37219)

We were barely off the plane before it was time for lunch at this “Southern bar with an old general store feel”.  Aimee and I shared an order of Bubba’s Bones (Deep-fried baby back ribs tossed in Puckett’s BBQ sauce).  They were smokey and spicy with a nice chew.  Aimee enjoyed the fact that they weren’t over sauced and found the meat to be tender.  For me, deep frying dried them out a bit but they were tasty. 

Bubba got bones

For lunch, I ordered the Puckett’s BBQ Sandwich.  You can get it with pulled pork, chicken or brisket, each slow-smoked with cherry wood.  When I asked our server which protein is best, she responded “PORK!” as though the other options were burnt sinew or a used Kleenex.  The pork was very good and Puckett’s does a lovely spicy BBQ sauce.  The fries are also dry-rubbed, which were also great to dip in the BBQ sauce.  Our friends Patty and Jessica were big fans of the signature fruit tea (Blackberry citrus sweet iced tea).  Fortunately, they sell it by the gallon so you can play Puckett’s: The Home Game.  The only real misfire for me was dessert.  Puckett’s offers a “cobbler of the day” and Aimee and I decided to share the chocolate cobbler.  It was somewhere between an overcooked brownie and a stale cookie.  It was sweet but super chewy and needed a sauce or something.  A disappointing to end an otherwise perfectly fine meal.

Chauhan Ale and Masala House (123 12th Avenue, Nashville 37203)

Owned by celebrity chef Maneet Chauhan, this refurbished brick garage offers creative spins on Indian cuisine.  This was Aimee’s first suggestion for the trip and I’ll never be done thanking her for it.  Y’all.  Y’ALL.  This was the most spectacular dining experience I had in Nashville.  I will RUN back to this place when I am next in town.  As soon as you walk into the space, you are hit with the most intoxicating smell of curry and it only gets better from there.  I started with Garlic Parmesan Naan which was tender, chewy, savory and delicious.  My favorite part is dipping my naan and there were two fantastic options for that.  The first was the unexpected and life changing Saag Mac and Cheese.  I know, I know.  Everybody and their Mother has a Mac and Cheese but this was something truly special.  Tender spiral pasta surrounded by a creamy, velvety spinach-based sauce that’s grassy, herbaceous and so flavorful.  It feels weird calling it Mac and Cheese but it’s amazing.  We never saw it coming.  A real find.  

Blue box? I don’t know her…

For my main course, I chose the “build your own curry” option, which allows you to pair the protein of your choice with the curry of your choice.  I wanted to veer away from my usual chicken tikka masala in favor of something new.  I chose Ginger Garlic Shrimp in Korma (Saffron and cashew-based sauce).  The shrimp were plump, perfectly cooked and there were a ton of them in that little dish.  The sauce was another home run; savory, richly spiced and velvety.  It balanced perfectly with the side of basmati rice.  Once I ran out of naan to dip, I damn-near picked it up and drank it.  It was SO GOOD.  

Aimee was feeling more adventurous and chose the Tikka Masala Pork Shank for her main course.  Her exact words were “THE GREATEST PORK SHANK EVER!!!!”.  It was huge.  Like, this thing would tip over Fred Flinstone’s car (Another knee slapper from me!-your Grandparent’s favorite comic!).  The meat just fell off the bone.  It had amazing smokey flavor, assisted by great charred marks and surrounded by a delicious, citrus-y tikka masala.  If I had one more bite of food I was going to explode.  Aimee was feeling similarly but ordered dessert to go anyway.  She chose the Gulb Jamun Cheesecake, a light cheesecake with tiny donuts inside.  She said it was very tasty.  I could spend an entire episode gushing about this place.  It is a must do.   Although, a word of caution:  Parking is a challenge.  There is a nearby pay lot but it often closes early, over charges and is crowded.  They recommend that you instead park at the Whole Foods up the street, which has an underground parking garage.  Whole Foods also validates, so you can grab something upstairs, throw it in your car and walk a block to the best friggin’ meal you’ll have that day.

Five Daughter’s Bakery (1110 Caruthers Avenue, Nashville 37204)

Family owned and operated by Isaac and Stephanie Meek and named for their five adorable Daughters, Five Daughter’s is home of the 100 layer donut, which is exactly as fascinating and delicious as it sounds.   Taking up to three days to craft, these donuts are serious business.  They are offered in a variety of recurring and seasonal flavors.  We did a few of each.  My favorite of the staple items was the Vanilla Cream donut (infused with and topped with Vanilla Buttercream).  Given the size and feel of these donuts, they are surprisingly light and airy!  Soft and sweet with the perfect ratio of frosting (For me, anyway, you people who don’t like frosting on cupcakes are weird.  Just have a muffin).  Other highlights included the Strawberry Lemon Cheesecake Donut.  Aimee praised the smooth cream that perfectly balanced the tartness of the lemon.  Another treat was the Boston Cream Donut.  It’s huge, first off.  Many of these things are sized for sharing.  What we both noticed immediately was the chocolate on top.  It wasn’t a glaze, instead it was real chocolate ganache!  We both named the same donut as our favorite and you’ll understand in a moment why telling you this is entirely unhelpful.  As we were visiting Nashville in December of last year, it was a seasonal flavor; Mini Sugar Cookie Donut.  A light, airy donut base with typical sugar cookie frosting and an absolutely delicious Vanilla Swiss Buttercream filling.  I sincerely hope if you’re able to make it to Five Daughters Around the holidays that they choose to offer this flavor again because it’s pretty incredible.  The location we went to was cute as all get out but offered no indoor seating.  I can tell you from extensive testing, these donuts eat just fine from the driver’s seat of your car.

To owners, Five Daughters, one very happy fat kid

Belle Mead Meat and Three (110 Leake Avenue, Nashville 37205)

Located inside the historic Belle Meade Winery, we came here for a traditional “Meat and Three”.  It’s a cafeteria style, elbows-on-the-table type place that offers exactly what it promises.  For my meat, I had the smoked meatloaf, which was very tasty.  Aimee had the fried catfish (her favorite).  She said they did it perfectly, crispy and flavorful with a tasty house made tartar sauce.  Speaking of which, this place has a downright impressive selection of sauces.  Tartar Sauce, White BBQ Sauce, Classic BBQ, Vinegar BBQ Sauce, Mustard BBQ Sauce and something called “Comeback Sauce”.  I tried several times to get a description for it, but all anyone could say is “It’s…Comeback Sauce!  Y’know.  Come back!”  Sure…

The three sides that I chose (no small feat for my Herculean decision paralysis) were Fried Okra, Mashed potatoes with gravy and Mac and Cheese, which I have been assured is considered a vegetable in the South.  We also had a choice of biscuit or corn cake, which basically looked like a pancake with a spray tan.  The Okra was crispy, well fried and not slimy, although I didn’t quite need the old-school-Chipotle-sized spoonful (real ones know).  Everything else was fine.  Wasn’t blown away. 

Served alongside my own good ol’ fashioned side of fried white guilt

Aimee echoed my thoughts on the Mac and Cheese and mashed potatoes.  She also tried the BBQ Beans, which she said were sweet and well made.  Aimee added a dessert of seasonal Gingerbread Pudding, which was dried out from too much molasses and was in desperate need of whipped cream or ice cream.  Overall, I’m not really sure what all the hubbub was about with this place, for me it was just okay.  Also, there’s an uncomfortable footnote I would like to add here.

Belle Meade is a beautiful property; a historic landmark that is often booked for weddings, tours, parties, etc.  I’ll be clear: It’s a plantation.  While Aimee and I didn’t do the official tour, we did walk the grounds and I’m not gonna lie; I’m not a big believer in the supernatural but the place felt haunted.  Maybe there’s some energy that felt bad to me or maybe it was just my subconscious unable to turn away from the human suffering that almost definitely happened here.  When we turned a corner and saw the “servant’s quarters”, I’d had quite enough historical ick for the day and it was time to go.  Again, this was strictly my experience of being there.  Your results may vary but I wanted to arm you with that knowledge in case it informs your decision to visit.  Moving on.  

Hattie B’s Chicken (112 19th Avenue S, Nashville 37203)

Following an afternoon Tornado watch (Tennessee pulled out all the stops for our visit), my friends and I did an impromptu late dinner at local Hot Chicken chain, Hattie B’s.  Offering classic Nashville hot chicken in varying levels of heat, it’s a great no-fuss style place to grab a sandwich and hang with friends.  Now, on the subject of me, I LOVE spicy foods but I also know myself and I was determined to not make myself the same cautionary tale as celebrity chef David Chang (Check out his Netflix Series “Ugly Delicious”, Season 1, Episode 6 for the best story about Nashville Hot Chicken you’ve ever heard in life).  I went with the traditional hot chicken sandwich with medium heat with a side of crinkle cut fries.  The sandwich was very tasty and spicy but nothing I couldn’t handle. I feel like there’s maybe a more authentic version of NHC to be found(?) But I was happy with my choice. 

Please enjoy this uncomfortably close and wildly unappetizing shot of my meal!

I have to take this opportunity to give props to my girl Vicki, who was with us.  She ordered chicken tenders with the top 2 levels of spice to them!  She enjoyed both of them but even she had to back down from the spiciest level after a few bites.  Described the ghost pepper burn as moving clearly from the back of her throat to the front.  Love that for her.  

Aimee ordered the not-spicy Southern Fried Chicken, which she called juicy and delicious.  Perfectly crispy with lots of black pepper.  She also got fries with more “Comeback Sauce”, which, I guess that means she came back to it since lunch???  She also had cheesy bacon grits, which she said were smoky but way too thick.  We both had the banana pudding for dessert and it was…not great.  The bananas had disintegrated down to nothing and I was once again left to ponder why this city has such an aversion to whipped cream?  Aimee liked that the Nilla wafers still had some crunch to them but agreed they could only do so much to save this weak dessert.     

Biscuit Love (316 11th Avenue S, Nashville 37203)

By Day 3 of my trip, I was firmly on the struggle bus when I woke up with heartburn radiating down to my kneecaps but nothing could stop me from today’s breakfast. This is a place I discovered in 2021 and I’ve dreamed of returning ever since.  I ordered the exact same thing I had last time because it was perfection.  We started with an order of Bonuts (a biscuit/donut hybrid that is lightly fried, rolled in sugar, topped with a lemon mascarpone and served on a bed of blueberry compote).  These things are heavenly.  They are fried to order and served warm.  One bite and Aimee was a believer.  If you order nothing else at Biscuit Love, get these.  You will NOT be disappointed.

One bite and you’ll be ready to risk it all

My main breakfast was the East Nasty; a fried chicken thigh on top of a biscuit with country gravy.  I’ve never actually liked country gravy before eating this dish.  I know now that I just hadn’t eaten it made by people who make it correctly.  The chicken was perfectly fried, tender and so juicy.  The multiple layers of biscuit are buttery, fluffy and expertly baked.  It took me a little bit longer than usual to power through it but I achieved it, with help of the always-solid cup of Joe served at Biscuit Love.

Aimee ordered the traditional Biscuits and Sausage Gravy; A lifelong comfort food for this Heart of Dixie native and she grades harshly for those that don’t come correct with it.    She called it one of the best biscuits she’s ever had.  She didn’t even need to add her usual black pepper to the sausage gravy, calling it perfectly seasoned.  I swelled with the kind of pride and validation that can only come from a Yankee successfully pointing a Southerner to a great staple dish.  I chomped down on another fistful of Tums, reveling in my self-satisfaction. Shout out to the side order of Chronic Bacon, which we both loved.  Sweet and spicy candied swine at it’s best.   

Daddy Dogs (205 Printers Alley, Nashville 37201)

An event I got to attend in while in Nashville was hosted by Jackalope Brewing, featuring the food of popular Nashville food truck, Daddy Dogs.  Serving up the traditional franks with wildly creative twists (including Cream cheese or Peaches.  Yeah, they go there) and a bevy of coded dick jokes.  What’s not to love?  I ordered the “Music City”, topped with Bacon, Cheddar Cheese, Onion and BBQ Sauce.  While pretty tame compared to some of the more adventurous choices on the menu but it was really good.  Messy and very tasty.  I would totally work my way through the rest of the menu, given the chance.

Daddy Dogs: Queer coded deliciousness

The Twelve Thirty Club (550 Broadway, Nashville 37203)

A surprise last minute addition to my list was a late night visit to the Twelve Thirty Club, a massive structure hovering over the main strip of downtown Nashville.  Owned by Justin Timberlake, the irony was not lost on me that I was here with a handful of his former co-stars from a certain Disney television show in the 90’s. Full disclosure:  We met up with some other friends who had the full dinner on the 2nd floor and raved about the food.  Others and I did cocktails and small plates on the 3rd floor.  My small sampling of the food was far less impressive than the décor and vibe, which were stellar.  I ordered the shortrib potstickers with toasted sesame, cilantro and ponzu.  It was an underwhelming one-note flavor profile.  Potstickers need ginger, some element of citrus or another texture to the filling.  This was just shortrib in a thick dumpling.    I also had the Salt Crusted Warm Pretzels with provolone fondue. The pretzels were chewy with a crisp exterior and a velvety, rich sauce.  A pleasant enough small plate but nothing you couldn’t get at any chain restaurant.  They also had a nice selection of Ciders (a great choice for people like me who don’t drink beer)

While the food and service were a let down (Our server took major attitude when we asked her to adjust a bill that she herself screwed up.  I know, I hate doing my job too.)  This is a really gorgeous venue.  Thoughtfully designed, great live music and a fully realized vibe that couldn’t be further away from what you’ll walk back out into on the strip when you leave.  I’d come back for dinner based on my friend’s recommendation or just to have a cocktail and enjoy some live music.  

I sure am glad this post didn’t coincide with some bad press about this place’s owner! That would be awkward….

Loveless Café (8400 TN-100, Nashville 37221)

One of the places I ran out of time to visit in 2021 was first on the list this time but it required a reservation (Yes, even at 8am on a Monday morning) because it’s THAT iconic.  Boasting a rich history in Nashville spanning more than 70 years, the home open to hungry travelers by founders Lon and Annie Loveless is still serving up chicken, biscuits and all sorts of tasty dishes.  It has been frequented by numerous celebrities and covered on every food show imaginable.

While my experience with my server hours before at Timberlake’s house of apps and attitude was pretty sour, my experience at Loveless could not have been more of a skidding 180 degree turn from that.  Our server was delightful.  She gave us the history, answered questions and did it with authentic an Southern hospitality that truly impressed the former restaurant host, former server and current hospitality manager at my table.

The biscuits are legendary and it’s easy to see why.  They’re small but divinely fluffy, buttery and light.  Martha Stewart admits to putting some in her purse for her flight home because even billionaire old ladies are still gonna old lady, but I get it.  Served with butter and choices of homemade jam, I tried all of them.  Homemade jams instantly hit different.  You never realize until you have the real deal how often we’re served artificial flavors.         

I ordered the Country Breakfast Bowl, with hashbrowns, scrambled eggs, country gravy, topped with pulled pork and a biscuit).  So rich, savory and comforting with incredible pulled pulled pork.  Our server told me that the same guy has been smoking their pork for 20 years and if he ever dies, she’s done.  I agree.  Perfection.  Aimee ordered the country fried steak and eggs (another Southern classic) and declared (as Southern belles are wont to do) that it has ruined her for any other country fried steak.  Not heavy or over battered, it was tender and fried perfectly.  She also applauded their option to have the gravy on the side so it never got soggy.  She also loved the Hash Brown Casserole served on the side, which she called super cheesy and delicious.

A masterclass in comfort food.

Aimee was determined not to waste an opportunity to try it while we were here so she also had a Pulled Pork Biscuit, which she called spectacular.  So tender with the perfect amount of smoke, pairing perfectly with the smoky and sweet BBQ sauce.  This place is the authentic real deal for a phenomenal breakfast and true Southern hospitality.  We left full, happy and loved.  Do not miss Loveless.

Mattheessen’s Ice Cream (123 2nd Avenue N, Nashville 37201)

There was a popular cookie spot we were hoping to hit up before lunch on our last day in Music City but it (and several other places) was closed on Monday, so we had to improvise.  We took our chances on a place we happened upon.  Mattheessen’s offers ice cream, baked goods and their signature ½ pound cookie.  We ordered the ½ pound M&M cookie.  Not great.  I found it chewy and dry.  It didn’t feel or taste fresh.  Aimee was less kind in her review, calling it a “Bullshit cookie”.  She said the edges were super hard.  In fact, at one point she banged a piece on the counter without breaking it.  She went on to explain that a cookie of that size needs to be thicker to keep it soft.  She also called shenanigans on an M&M Cookie that was just a sugar cookie topped with M&M’s.  I can never resist a coconut macaroon so I ordered the rather large one they had in the case.  It was sweet, tough and chewier than it should be.  Again, it didn’t taste fresh and the chocolate had bubbled and discolored.  I wouldn’t have even eaten it  had I not been with a professional baker who assured me it wasn’t moldy, just old.  Didn’t finish anything we got.  Pass.

As promised it was big….

Peg Leg Porker (903 Gleaves Street, Nashville 37203)

The other undisputed highlight of my 2021 visit to Nashville was lunch at this place.  Voted one of the best BBQ spots in the South, one visit will make clear to you why that is.  Founded by BBQ badass Carey Bringle (The name comes from Bringle becoming an amputee at age 18 following surgery for a bone tumor), Peg Leg Porker serves up pork, not brisket, an important distinction they’ll be happy to clarify for you.  The ribs are sublime; dry rubbed, fall-off-the-bone tender and served with choices of BBQ sauce.  The main dishes more than live up to the mountain of hype they’ve gotten over the years but for me, it’s all about the Soul Potato.  Yeah, you heard me right.  

A plate of crinkle cut fries, smothered in smoky BBQ pork, BBQ sauce and cheese whiz.  It is an entire meal unto itself and it couldn’t be more perfect.  So simple but done so incredibly well.  Another must try. 

“Hey Alexa, play ‘Never Enough’ from The Greatest Showman”. FETCH ME MY WIG!

While I was a die hard fan of PLP, Aimee was making her first trip here.  She also ordered the half back of ribs and loved them, praising the dry rub and great smoke.  She also enjoyed the BBQ Beans, which she called perfectly cooked.  She added a side of potato salad (a classic no-fly food for yours truly.  Cold potatoes are insane.)  Aimee said it did a great job of cutting through the rich meat with well cooked and seasoned potatoes.  Not mushy.  

Okay, so here’s where Peg Leg Porker threw us a MAJOR curveball.  We ordered dessert.  I had the Banana Puddin’ (and yeah, it appears on the menu with the apostrophe so you know they’re not messing around).  Perfect bananas, perfect pudding, crispy wafers, and YES, WHIPPED CREAM.  All was again right with the world.  Aimee saw another item that fascinated her:  Made-to-order fried pies.  She got the Chocolate and the apple pies.  You guys, these damn things had no business being this good.  To be a place that flexes that hard with barbecue to have desserts that were this dope?!  Unbelievable.

Aimee said the crust was AWESOME!  So buttery and flakey.  Someone in that kitchen knows how to make a proper pastry crust.  She said the apples were well cooked, soft and not mushy with the perfect amount of cinnamon.  And yes, A SCOOP OF ICE CREAM!  I’m so glad.  We were starting to feel gaslit by the desserts in this city.  While the apple pie was great, the real shocker was the chocolate fried pie.  The filling (which Aimee confirmed is ganache) was soft but not overly liquid.  She called this pie one of her all time favorite desserts.  Peg Leg Porker knocked it out of the park again.  In a city overflowing with great BBQ, they are truly a cut above that is a must do in Nashville.  For the soul potato alone.  And dessert.  And the ribs.  Just go.

Deacon’s New South (401 Church Street, Nashville 37219)   

Our final meal in Nashville was another place I’d been to before and really enjoyed so I was eager to return.  Located in the Printer’s Alley neighborhood of Nashville, Deacon’s New South serves modern Southern classics and great craft cocktails.  We got started with their unique take on classic skillet cornbread with Culture butter, Muldon and Soured Honey.  For me it had a nice crust, wasn’t too sweet and had a pleasant bitterness on the finish.  Aimee found it a little overbaked and dense.  

Kernbread. Nuff said.

For her main dish, Aimee had the Blackened Pork Chop, which she had some issues with.  She explained that that when she orders a pork chop, she should get that chop on the bone.  Deacon’s pork chop was pre-sliced off the bone (unevenly, according to her) and tasted more like a porn loin.  She found it dry and not worth the price, instead calling her side of Handcut Fries in Tallow the best part of her meal.

I ordered the same dish I had last time (look, y’all, I’m not a complicated dude)  Spicy Crawfish Noodles.  While the dish had the same great spice and texture, it was a bit undersalted.  Plus the portion and plate were both noticeably smaller from the last time I was here.  This is one of the few times being one of those assholes who photographs their food and never deletes photos comes in handy.  I had the receipts.  

All told, Aimee said she wouldn’t return.  This is not a cheap dinner.  I, however, did enjoy what I had enough to return and explore the rest of the menu.  

And that, friends was my visit to Nashville!  I can’t wait to get back to eating my own fair city while researching more places to do special reports on.  Do I hear New York calling….?

NASHVILLE CHEAT SHEET:

Puckett’s

What to order: Pork Sandwich, Blackberry Citrus Iced Tea

Cuahan’s Ale and Masala House

What to order: Saag Mac and Cheese

Five Daughter’s Bakery

What to order: Vanilla Buttercream 100 Layer Donut

Belle Meade Meat and Three

What to order: Fried Catfish, Corn cake

Hattie’s B’s

What to order: Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwich (Obvi)

Biscuit Love

What to order: Bonuts

Daddy Dogs

What to order:  Literally any dog they offer

Twelve Thirty Club

What to order: A drink

The Loveless Café

What to order: Biscuits and any dish with pulled pork

Mattheessen’s Ice Cream

What to order: skip it

Peg Leg Porker

What to order: Soul Potato

Deacon’s New South

What to order: Handcut fries in Tallow

Gaslamp Lumpia Factory

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When I moved to San Diego, California, at the tender age of 22, I knew I was in for some culture shock.  My prior 5 years in South Florida would expose me to Cuban, Haitian and African American food and culture that was inaccessible to me growing up in New England. (I went to a high school with a student body 1700 kids strong that, with few exceptions, couldn’t be whiter if we poured out of the spout on a faulty McFlurry Machine at McDonald’s.)  I took a job at a movie theatre when I arrived in San Diego alongside a mix of young people from all different backgrounds, but the two most well-represented ethnicities of my new co-workers in my new home city were Mexican and Filipino.  Over the years, I’d go on to learn about and experience so much amazing Mexican and Filipino culture and food, but I was skittish about it at my young age.

The saddest example of my idiotic, youthful apprehension of the unfamiliar was when December of that first year rolled around.  It was my job to plan to the after-hours holiday party for the employees.  We had a bunch of cool stuff planned; an hour of free play in the arcade next door, karaoke in the theatre and food.  I got a ton of food catered from a nearby grocery store.  One of my coworkers offered to pick up a few dozen tamales from her Grandmother in Tijuana and bring them to the party.  I had no idea what a tamale was but, sure, whatevs.  The more the merrier.  There would be plenty of food.  The party starts and my coworker comes in rolling 3 igloo coolers and setting up a giant platter of tiny bundled…something(?) on the table next to my party platters.  When I tell you, these kids who worked at our theatre STAMPEDED over to that table to tear into those tamales.  I was surprised they didn’t knock over the table of everything I’d bought and even if they did, not one of them would’ve blinked an eye, the tamale frenzy was that strong. 

I never ate one.  I even turned down the one my friend had put aside for me.  I was too scared. Food from someone’s house?! In Mexico? (Whatever the Hell that even means.)  I didn’t know what a tamale was or how to eat it and I was too embarrassed to ask.  There, I said it.  There are countless moments where I recall the adventures of 20-something Anthony and shake my head in disgust but this one is a doozy.  How silly was I?  Flash forward to 2024.  I have eaten countless tamales from just about everyone’s Abuela both here and in Mexico and they are bomb.  A good tamale is just the best thing.  It’s been 25 years and I still regret not trying one that night.  They get more amazing in my fantasies with every passing year.  What was I so afraid of?!

As the years went on, I made more friends and eventually got exposed to Filipino food.  By this time I was a bit older and less dumb so I was more willing to try new things.  It was right around this time that I discovered the gloriousness that is Lumpia.  Lumpia are a type of spring roll that can come from Indonesia and The Philippines.  They are paper-thin pastry rolls that can house sweet or savory fillings.  While they certainly can be a center-of-the-plate meal, they are usually enjoyed as an appetizer or snack.  They can be served fried or fresh.  In Indonesia (brought to that region by early Chinese settlers), you’ll find Lumpia as street food.  In The Philippines, they are enjoyed as a celebration staple.  There’s roughly a gazillion varieties of how they’re prepared and filled but all I know is they’re delicious.  My favorite non-Lumpia Filipino food is a noodle dish called Pancit.  When I found out that a popular Filipino variation of Lumpia called Lumpiang Pancit (Lumpia FILLED WITH PANCIT) exists?  Oh yeah, that was a good day.        

Back in the days when shutting down a dancefloor at 2am still sounded like something I’d want to do, we would come out of the local bear bar (RIP Numbers) and there, waiting for us, was the Lumpia lady.  This tiny little Filipino Lola, sizzling it up in her little metal cart that filled the whole block with the smell of roasted pork and vegetables.  It was just as intoxicating as we were intoxicated.  She was so precise and focused on her work, which is why she never looked up and dropped dead from a heart attack when the sidewalk she was posted in front of rumbled like Jurassic Park as a herd of sweaty, half-naked Eddie Valiants, Lou Grants and Damien from Means Girls (original and remake) descended on her at once like a fat femme remake of “300”.  She only took cash.  She barely spoke English but she knew damn well this thicc burly horde of drunk furry men would kill for her if she asked.  That, friends, is the sheer power of Lumpia.

Gaslamp Lumpia Factory is the only Pulutan (think Tapas-style small plates) Bar in San Diego.  They offer a variety of Lumpia and popular Filipino-American comfort foods, as well as beer, wine, sake and specialty cocktails.  It also has the distinction of being the only dedicated Filipino spot in the Gaslamp Quarter of downtown San Diego.  Joining me for this adventure were my own small but dedicated horde of lumpia lovers

Aimee-Roommate since the 90’s, BFF, allergic to hot dogs and therefore labeled a commie by many

David-Wonder Woman superfan, musical theatre enthusiast, the narrator’s love interest

Durwood-Best friend, comedian, San Diego’s go-to non-singing black actor

Joseph-Music educator, loves just about every food I won’t touch, masterclass Dad joker

We’re not of the culture but we are big fans of their work.

Not gonna lie.  The location of this place may scare off some locals.  It’s in the Gaslamp Quarter.  Like, the absolute Gaslamp-iest part of the Gaslamp Quarter.  During the weekends, it’s busy.  During Padre games, it’s chaos.  During Comic Con, it’s the actual seventh realm of Hell.  But once you get past the crowds, the tourists and navigating the internal moral turmoil of seeing entire streets equally lined with Teslas and homeless encampments, there’s actually some fun and cool stuff there.  Right at the end of F street and before you hit the parking garage of Horton Plaza (the abandoned haunted house of 90’s mall culture), you’ll find Gaslamp Lumpia Factory.  If you’re local and not a fan of the Gaslamp, I cannot recommend enough that you either go for lunch or on a weeknight.  We all found street parking and there was plenty of seating.  Or go on a Holiday weekend.  Choose violence.  Do what you want.  I’m not your Mom.

Naturally, I ordered the pork Lumpia.  Served alongside a traditional sweet chili sauce, these bad boys were served screaming HOT.  There was absolutely no question of the freshness here.  It was several minutes before I could even hold one.  Crispy and savory with a great fry to them.  While I won’t say they particularly stand out from any of the other lumpia I’ve had, they were well done.  Durwood had the chicken lumpia (which I also tried).  He loved both but gives the edge to pork.  Joseph, on the other hand, was not as big a fan of the pork lumpia.  He felt like the primary flavor note in his was simply oil. Aimee tried the beef lumpia and also enjoyed how well fried they were.  In addition to the sweet chili, she also had the sesame-soy dipping sauce.  I found the sesame-soy to be a little too salty but she loved mixing the soy with the sweet chili.  Aimee also pointed out that, for a place called a “Lumpia factory”, she was hoping for a bit more variety in the lumpia selections.         

I could have waited until they cooled down but I was a man possessed. I had a ROUGH go of it in the 90’s with Hot Pockets for the same reason.

There are many other options available aside from Lumpia at Gaslamp Lumpia factory, including rice bowls.  David had the Kahlua Pork with pineapple over Jasmine Rice.  He found the dish to be a very tasty, gluten-free alternative to lumpia.  To wash it all down, he also had a Papa Pili Mai Tai (Gold Rum, Sweet Citrus, Pineapple and Orange Juice), which he found delicious and beautifully presented.  I had a sip and it was very tasty, if a bit of a weak pour but that might just be due to the fact that I’ve been in Hillcrest a lot this week.  It was good, tho.  

She ain’t strong but she sure is pretty. I think that’s the title of a country song…

Durwood got the Garlic Fried Rice with Longanisa (a garlic-forward Filipino sausage) and pineapple.  He said it was a great blend of flavors but was hoping for more of a fried texture in the rice.  For him, it was giving more steamed rice, which he enjoyed with some of the house hot sauce. 

Joseph, a proud soup enthusiast, ordered the Pork Sinigang Soup (sour and savory pork tamarind soup with tomatoes, green beans and cabbage).  He said the broth was tasty and savory with a delightful sourness that didn’t linger.  The pork was fall-apart tender.  Solid soup that he would definitely eat again.

For my main, I had the Shrimp Tempura and a side of Garlic Fried Rice.  The shrimp was fried a little harder than I’ve had it in the past but it was awesome.  The dragon sauce served alongside the dish was absolutely divine.  Creamy with a great heat.  It paired perfectly with the crunchy shrimp.  I could’ve crushed 20 more of these.  Delicious.  The Garlic Fried Rice was also a standout for me.  I love garlic to unhealthy degrees (at least according to my doctor, who I’m sure is a vampire who just never wants me to have any fun.)  Durwood was correct in that it’s not a similar taste and texture to traditional fried rice but, for me, that made it much lighter.  It paired nicely with the other proteins at the table I ate.  Traditional fried rice with all that lumpia and tempura would’ve been rough for me. 

Aimee ordered the most unique main course and it’s a signature specialty at Gaslamp Lumpia Factory: The Pandesal Smash Burger.  Commonly eaten for breakfast in the Philippines, Pandesal is a fluffy, sweet bread roll made from flour, yeast, sugar, oil and salt.  Inside the roll is a quarter pound beef patty with cheese, onions and a house sauce.    Y’all.  This shit was DELICIOUS.  Aimee loved it.  She said the inside of the roll was lightly toasted but the outside remained fluffy and sweet, reminiscent of a Hawaiian roll.  She loved how well the burger was cooked and the amount of cheese on top was perfect.  I’m usually not a fan of sweet buns for burgers (don’t get me started on that Godless abomination Krispy Kreme Burger that came from the fiery depths of county fair Hell) but this burger alone is worth making the trip downtown for.  A stand out. 

You’re a winner baby!

Alongside her burger, Aimee had the macaroni salad.  She said finding a good pasta salad is a difficult task around these parts but Gaslamp Lumpia Factory’s take on it is good.  The pasta held it’s shape.  The dish wasn’t too mayo-heavy and had a nice twang to it.  I had a bite, which is unusual for me because I don’t like mushy or cold pasta but the shells were al dente and pretty good.   Durwood took issue with it being called “macaroni salad” despite not being elbow macaroni.  I respect his position.  I’m sure Aimee was glad just to not have to share more of her tasty side.   Overall, the entire table came away with a very positive review for Gaslamp Lumpia Factory.  I, like many locals, can’t imagine why I’d want to purposely go the Gaslamp Quarter, but we frequently find ourselves down there for some reason or another.  Going to support a unique Mom-and-Pop spot with great Filipino food and a killer burger is a great reason to do so.  Next time I’m in proximity to Gaslamp Lumpia Factory, you’ll catch me in there. 

The Friendly

by

Something that I feel is missing from a lot of popular food culture is the art of simplicity.  I’m not a fan of food gimmicks, particularly when it comes to burgers.  I’m sure you’ve all seen the clips and pics of some obnoxiously huge burger with 12 patties, a bowl of pasta, a brick of cheese, a shrimp po boy, a whole live mackerel and an original vinyl pressing of De La Soul’s “Three Feet High and Rising” on it.  It’s 17 pounds, 3 feet tall and needs to be carried by 4 servers, the last of whom presents the table with a release of liability form for you to sign. It’s giving unmistakable dark flavortown vibes, for like $60.   I know you know this burger.  Aside from the fact that these are often absolutely disgusting they are also always wildly impractical.  And that’s the part that bothers me the most.  It can’t be picked up.  How do you even get at that thing?!  Am I supposed to unhinge my jaw like a python? The taste of it is secondary to giving you something to blow up ‘the Gram’ (That’s what the kids call Instagram.  It’s also what I used to call my Maternal Grandmother, so I’m hosting a terrifying buffet of mental images right now after writing that).  None of these ridiculous toppings are bringing anything to the party flavor-wise.  The taste of this thing people are meant to eat has become irrelevant.  Lost in a gimmick gone too far.  I say no thank you.

The competition for “best burger” is fierce everywhere and San Diego is no different.  There’s no accounting for taste but you bring up things like best taco?  Best Ramen?  Best burger?  Them’s fightin’ words.  Opinions will be shouted, emotions will flare, friendships and marriages will be irreparably damaged.  People are serious about this shit.  San Diego has some serious contenders for ‘best burger’ but I knew as soon as I came back for this series that only one place stood out from the crowd enough to warrant a feature.  What’s that you say? Anthony, you can’t cover a place you’ve already been to!” This here is a new Boy Who Ate San Diego, gentle reader.  As part of this series, I’m highlighting some of the “Icons” of San Diego.  Places that have been around for a minute and I’m exploring why.

The Friendly on 30th (There are 3 locations in town) is, by definition, a pizzeria but my favorite thing to order at this pizzeria is actually the Dirty Flat Top Cheeseburger.  Butter braised onions, American cheese, garlic aioli.  That’s literally it.  Simple.  Life changingly delicious.  It’s almost too simple.  It almost gives “House Burger” (A little something for you Gen X Eddie Murphy fans) except that it’s deliciousness will have you thinking about this burger for days after you eat it.  At least that’s my experience with it.  But it’s more than a burger and a slice of pizza.  There’s an experience to it.

I was in a production of the musical “The Full Monty” last Summer.  After a performance attended by my inner circle, we were in search of after show eats and one of the only things open after 11pm (Do not get me started on this city’s ability to pull in the sidewalks by 9pm) was The Friendly on 30th.  I’d had their burger before when my work crush brought me one a few years ago.  But I needed to be sure that the euphoria I felt eating this burger wasn’t just the feeling I got when I looked in his dreamy popsicle blue eyes and melted in the presence of his irresistible troublemaker smile into that usual chokehold that unattainable straight boys had me in for most of the 90’s.  I needed a second go at this burger with a clear, less horny mind.  This was that chance and, friends, lightning struck twice with this glorious burger.

Returning to the scene of the crime with me were some of my most trustworthy burger and beer lovers:

Dan-Lawful pirate, metal lover, can tell you everything about a great beer.  And he will.

Joseph-Music educator, loves just about every food I won’t touch, masterclass Dad joker

Chris-Attorney, lifelong food snob, loves sandwiches.  Like, a lot.

Anna-Canadian Goddess, Theatre dresser, puppet builder

Joe-Theatre and beer enthusiast, podcast co-host, TikTok Dad

I don’t know how but this picture manages to give indie band, brewery founders and coffee house staff all at the same time. 

I tried my best to not let my all-consuming obsession with this burger cloud the fact that I was here to give readers an overview of the whole experience of The Friendly.  And, let me be clear here, it is an experience.   Seating inside is limited, there’s one small bathroom.  There is always a line out the door.  Not the place for a sit down meal.  We almost always get our food and gather outside on the sidewalk and enter into a collective food coma under the white hot fluorescent lights and painted signage on the window.  Menu alterations (especially in regards to the burger) are not allowed.  I honestly go back and forth about my feelings on that.  On the one hand, I applaud the unwillingness to alter the experience.  After all, I don’t know that I would have ever thought to order a burger this way so it kinda forced me to experience something I now love.  On the other hand, the unwillingness to modify excluded all of our usual suspects who can’t eat gluten (most notably, my partner).  Also, as Chris astutely pointed out, there’s also no ketchup and no fries.  I don’t know that I would’ve been sold on coming here, had I not had the burger first.

The Friendly offers pizza by the slice.  I’m no aficionado and I’m SURE some stranger in the comment section will set me straight if I’m incorrect but I would most closely compare The Friendly’s pizza to New York Style.  I’m one of those rare people who equally loves New York and Chicago style pizza, which often gets me strange looks from folks who have chosen their side in the battle of the only two cities on Earth that make pizza.  The Friendly’s attitude is well reflected in every aspect of their menu, down to the pizza names.  Both mine and Joseph’s first slice was the Dr. Green Thumb (Garlic, Spinach, Red bell Pepper, Mushrooms, Red Onion and Artichoke Hearts).  Were it not for the fake cheese, I would’ve ordered a slice of Did I Tell You I’m A Vegan based on the name alone because HA!  Really tender crust, the artichokes added the perfect amount of tang without overpowering the whole slice.  Ratio of sauce to toppings was on point.  Joseph enjoyed the large chunks of garlic and balance of veggies.

My favorite Friendly slice (The Becky: White Pizza, mushrooms and ricotta) was out for the night, likely watching a rom com or having a meet cute at a café.  I instead chose for my second slice, the Michael Cane Italian Job (Not The Marky Mark Version) (BTW, that’s the actual full name of the pizza, parenthetical diss and all).  White Pizza with Ricotta, Red Bell Pepper, Garlic and Sausage.  I was happy to see this slice didn’t have pepperoni, which I hate.  I know, an Italian who hates pepperoni.  Sacrilege! One of many ways I’m a colossal disappointment to my family.  The ricotta was creamy and was sliced thin enough to keep from weighing the slice down.  The garlic and sausage played well off each other and the crust on this one was also tender and toothsome.  Good stuff.

I resisted suggestions to smash them together into one giant slice because I am not a competitive eater or an anarchist. 

Now that I was a good boy and ate my pizza it was time for my reward:  The Dirty Flat Top Cheeseburger.  I don’t know why it works so well!  The grill they make them on like a little assembly line looks like it’s clean and totally up to food grade but tastes like it hasn’t been cleaned since 1961 and I mean that as the highest possible praise.  I would never order American Cheese on anything!  But for some reason, this yellow slice just becomes creamy, velvety and perfect atop this burger patty.  The butter braised onions bring in sweet and smoky elements and the garlic aioli ties it all together like a symphony.  I loved it so much, I didn’t even care when I thought it was mayonnaise!  Some folks ordered two burgers and while I respect the dedication, I can barely get through one of these, so I savor it.  25-year-old Anthony would be crushing these in 3’s like full sized sliders (which, admittedly, might prevent the existence of present day Anthony but I digress).  Joseph praised both the crust on the bun and the crust on the burger.  He points out that he really can’t name another $7 burger that rivals the comfort and full flavor of the dirty flat top. 

About to risk it all for my cheesy, salty, greasy Roman Empire.

Chris really hit the nail on the head when he compared The Friendly to an immobile food truck.  He praised the burger’s taste, texture and mild greasiness (in the way good burgers are allowed to be).  He rated the pizza slices “as good a slice as you’re going to find in San Diego”. 

Dan had the Meat Lover’s pizza (which I’m sure had some other smart ass name on the menu board).  While many pizza places can go easily overboard on their meaty toppings, he enjoyed that The Friendly was smart about their balance.  No topping dominated any other.  While he usually a fan of the burger, he mentioned it tasting saltier when he’s sober as opposed to other occasions.  I want to point out here that multiple people in our dining crew said this place would be perfect to show up to drunk.  I’m not encouraging that you get sloshed before going to The Friendly but if you do, please do so safely on foot, call an Uber or a friend who owes you a favor (Don’t get me started on San Diego’s lack of public transport) But it was still delicious for him.  He recommends (and so do I) making a late night weekend trip to The Friendly after having a few beers up the street at Fall Brewing Company.  The vibe is festive and must be seen to be believed. 

And speaking of beer, Dan continues his role in my life as “beer hero” bringing his love and expertise of the sudsy devil to my table.  The Friendly offers Tecate, with a dollar off if you shotgun the can.  Dan did the thing because who doesn’t love a dollar off? He proudly boasts missing his shirt and only getting a few drops on the counter.  Chris was not as lucky with his but we still love him.

I absolutely loved Anna’s description of The Friendly in North Park as a “pause two thirds of the way through a bar crawl for a fever dream of a cheeseburger.”  That made me Kermit nod, IYKYK.  She mentioned it’s the type of delicious burger that tastes better after at least 3 drinks.  I’m sure she’s right.  It almost makes me want to like beer.  Almost.  I honestly would risk it all for this damned burger.  Anna’s slice of pizza included ricotta (which she describes as the cat nip of the cheese world), pepperoni and mushrooms.  She said it was solid and praised it’s ability to be folded without fuss, which proves to me that she has spent enough time around New York actors because no Canadian I know would eat pizza like that.  Also, Anna is not Canadian.  Moving on.

As Anna lacks the ability to shotgun beer (leaving that to her Husband, Dan) she did enjoy a refreshing Topo Chico Sparkling Water.  I will say the only thing I don’t love about this place is the lack of drink options for the non-beer crowd.  I usually just have bottled water because Mexican Coke is a real bad choice for me (cut to the glowing ghost of Wilfred Brimley giving me a Kermit nod, IYKYK)

I will conclude this review in a way that will not at all shock you.  It’s all about the burger (which is available in other iterations at The Friendly’s other two locations in town, but you gotta start with the dirty flat top) but the pizza is also pretty great.  The vibe is humorous with a smart ass charm.  The folks working behind the counter perfectly reflect that vibe also.  On some nights, you can buy a round of Tecate for the staff.  It’s a party and one I always enjoy getting to attend.  Also, The Friendly on 30th is located walking distance from multiple options for drinks and dessert.  Grab your friends and make a night of it.  And tell the burger I love it and I can’t wait for it to meet my lips again soon. 

Check out my YouTube Channel for this episode! https://www.youtube.com/@TheBoyWhoAteSanDiego

Check out the deep dive podcast for this episode! https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-6in9k-1541798

Further Reading: https://www.yelp.com/biz/the-friendly-san-diego